


Attack

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Aziraphale Has an Anxiety Disorder (Good Omens), F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Aziraphale has a panic attack and Crowley has to figure a way to help her.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Attack

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off of a headcannon that came across my Tumblr dash today that I didn't realize I needed until I saw it so here's this mess of a fic.

Her heart began pounding. Aziraphale sighed. Not this again. She closed her eyes and began taking deep breaths. If she could calm it before the heat of it, she would be in good shape. She felt the trembling begin so she balled her hands into fists to stop it.  
“No, not today,” she whispered. Her thoughts were the next to go. Spinning wildly out of control. Crowley doesn’t love you. This is all temporary. The world is going to end. They are going to find you. They are going to kill you. Crowley doesn’t love you. She tried to shake the thoughts away but they only came faster. Faster and faster until she could no longer even read her own thoughts.  
She hadn’t even noticed that she was hyperventilating. Not that she was able to do anything about it. She had lost. She was going to have to ride this whole thing out. She could not think coherent thoughts. Could not move. Everything was wrapped around this.  
The feeling of dying. She knew it well. Not only from this, but from all the times she’d been discorporated for one reason or other. Everything spinning out of her control. She could do nothing but stare straight ahead.  
Crowley walked in and noticed Aziraphale staring. She quickly kneeled down to try and figure out what to do. Aziraphale had gone over this over and over with her, but she could never remember. Not in the moment. Not when it actually mattered.  
“Aziraphale?” Crowley asked. “Aziraphale, can you hear me?” Aziraphale nodded slightly but still didn’t look at Crowley. Crowley nodded to herself and looked around the room, trying to find the source of this attack. Get rid of it. Alas, she found nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary. So nothing had caused this. Her darling Aziraphale’s anxiety was just decided to be a bitch now. Crowley realized her hands were on Aziraphale’s thighs and she quickly took them off. “Aziraphale, what do you need me to do?” Aziraphale didn’t answer. Her whole body shuddered. “Do you need a blanket?” Crowley asked. “Are you cold?” Aziraphale shook her head.  
Crowley stood up and paced back and forth. She knew this was only temporary but she wanted to do something to help. She wanted to just rush over and hug the angel, but she knew that Aziraphale was sensitive to touch until after the attack had run its course. Then, and only then, Crowley could touch her.  
Aziraphale tried to straighten her thoughts back out. She knew that if she could only do that, everything would go back to the way it was. She was able to suck in a shaky breath. Good. Good. That’s the first step to getting over this. She began counting her breaths out. Three seconds in, three seconds out. Again. She wrapped her arms around herself as a way to stop the trembling, even though she knew it wouldn’t work. She felt her eyes burning as the tears she was holding back fought their way out. Three seconds in, three seconds out. She brought her hands to her face to wipe away the tears.  
Crowley walked over to sit beside the angel. She hated seeing her upset when there was nothing Crowley could do to help her. Not yet. She wished she could remember anything helpful besides “don’t touch during an attack.” That wasn’t useful at all. She stood up once again.  
“Angel, do you need to leave the room?” Aziraphale shook her head, but she seemed to be calming down. She brought her hands down to her side and the visible trembling stopped. Aziraphale closed her eyes and the last of her tears dripped down her face. She took another deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and let it out slowly. She repeated this process a few times.  
Crowley recognized this stage in the attack. It was winding down. The angel was going to be ok. Crowley relaxed. She was ok.  
Aziraphale’s stiff posture melted. She put her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. Crowley scooched a little closer, but still wasn’t feeling safe to touch Aziraphale yet. She didn’t want to do something that would set the attack off again accidently. Aziraphale let out a shaky breath and leaned over and rested her head on Crowley’s lap. Crowley began to comb through the angel’s hair with her fingers.  
“Are you feeling a bit better now, angel?” Crowley asked, concern lacing through her voice. Aziraphale smiled and sniffled.  
“Yeah. I’m feeling better. Just a little sleepy now.” Crowley nodded. She remembered Aziraphale telling her that these attacks tended to beat her down. She tapped the angel’s shoulder. The angel took that exactly as Crowley had meant it and sat up. Crowley scooped the angel up and carried her princess-style to their bedroom. She gently tucked Aziraphale into bed and kissed the top of her head.  
She then went back to the kitchen to prepare some tea for the angel. Perhaps even find some biscuits, though she wasn’t certain that they had any (they both tended to get peckish at the most inconvenient of times). Once everything was ready, she headed back to the room, but the angel was already asleep. Crowley smiled and set the tea and biscuits on the bedside table. By demonic miracle, the tea would still be warm when Aziraphale found it a few hours later.

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


End file.
